Gakupo the Manly Man
by Hatsunation
Summary: Gakupo is seriously pissed about being seen as a gay girly man on the internet, so he goes on a manly rampage to set things straight. If this isn't crack, I don't know what is.


_Brief notices before you begin reading:_

_This story is supposed to not be taken seriously._

_This… creation is the very definition of crack fan fiction._

_Yet…_

_This is story also supposed to be taken seriously._

_It has come to my attention that said character is portrayed as a girly and not at all manly character._

_This must change._

_So I present, Gakupo the Manly Man._

It was a day no one will ever forget. The day Gakupo discovered that he was seen as a girly man by the internet. He only knew one thing.

It had to change.

Hence came the day. The reign of terror caused by the should be manliest Vocaloid. It was… the day Gakupo became a manly man.

*Cue dramatic music*

_~GAKUPO THE MANLY MAN!~_

*Cue explosion*

As the first order of manliness, Gakupo first had to establish that he was indeed manly in all the senses of the word. That meant showing that he had hot chicks crawling all over him. He got Miku to agree to walk around with him. Er, not agree but she was all over wanting to go everywhere with Gakupo because Gakupo was just that manly!

Next, Gakupo needed a bad ass car to pick up more girls with. Since he was little short on money, Miku helped him cut out a monster truck from cardboard (because Gakupo was just too manly to use scissors. He had to make it with his bare hands!) which she then covered in glitter. That was okay though. Gakupo planned on being so manly that he could even make pink glitter look manly!

Now that Gakupo had his car and Miku standing behind him to make engine noises, Gakupo headed to a recording to studio to force some chump to record a song about how manly he was. Then he'd go all over the freaking place playing that song so EVERYONE would know how manly he was and they'd all be singing about it. The song would be that catchy!

And said song goes something like this (it's in all caps of course because lowercase letters are for non manly people that care about punctuation):

_GAKUPO THE MANLY MAN!_

_HE'S SO MANLY THAT ALL THE GIRLS LOVE HIM! _

_HE'S SO MANLY THAT ALL THE GUYS FEAR HIM!_

_WHEN YOU SEE HIM WALKING DOWN YOUR WAY,_

_YOU BETTER SAY, "DAMN THAT GACKUPO IS SO MANLY!"_

_YEAH THAT'S RIGHT!_

_GAKUPO THE MANLY MAN!_

_IF YOU'RE NOT CALLING HIM MANLY,_

_THEN YOU'RE CALLING YOU'RE MORTICIAN!_

_GAKUPO THE MANLY MAN!_

_IF YOU'RE NOT SEEING HIS MANLINESS,_

_THEN YOU'E SEEING HIS FIST AT 50 MILES PER HOUR!_

_GAKUPO THE MANLY MAN!_

_YOU BETTER WATCH OUT CUZ THIS GUY'S SO MANLY._

_GAKUPO THE MAAAAANLLLLLLLY MAAAAAAAAAN!_

Gakupo was already feeling pretty good with the song finished, but he still had to have a reputation to show for! In his cardboard monster truck, he and Miku went to the "bad" side of town where all the tough guys hung out. As they "drove" by an alleyway, Gakupo could hear an elderly woman scream, "Help! I need some manly man to get my purse from these hoodlums!"

Parking his glitter mobile, Gakupo hopped over the door of his truck and cool walked in the alleyway.

"Did I hear that you needed someone to take your purse?" Gakupo said with his cool voice.

"Oh yes, please help…" She paused to hear the song playing from Gakupo's truck, "Gakupo the Manly Man!"

With a smug grin Gakupo beat up the hoodlums and retrieved the old lady's purse.

"Oh thank you Gakupo the Manly Man!" the lady sighed, "Now can I have my purse back?"

"Vile woman! I deserve payment! This purse is now mine!" Gakupo declared.

When the woman didn't budge, Gakupo sent his fist flying at the woman only to be stopped by his fellow Vocaloid.

"Beating up old ladies isn't manly, it's just silly," Kaito admonished making the shame finger motion.

"Shut the fuck up!" Gakupo said sending Kaito flying into the sunset.

He then got back into his glittery cardboard monster truck with Miku and ran off down the road making engine noises as his portable stereo blared his theme song.

~GAKUPO THE MANLY MAN!~

*cue explosion*


End file.
